OITNB: Cocktail + Drinking Game

For the past month I have been counting down the days until my mini vacation (three more days) and the release of Season 3 f Orange is the New Black.  Both of these things give me extreme pleasure, so when I was approached to come up with a cocktail and drinking game for Orange is the New Black, just like I did for another Netflix Original last year, I definitely did not pass up the opportunity.

Now coming up with a drink that embodies a particular show is not always an easy task.  Sure, Cosmos go hand in hand with Sex and the City and an Old Fashioned for House of Cards is a no brainer.  But what do you do for a show set in a women's prison?

You make hooch.

Well, actually you don't make hooch, because ketchup, old bread and fermenting everything yourself?  Yeah...ain't nobody got time for that (nor would you want time for that).  That's when I started thinking about something fermented, but still drinkable.  I was aiming for something that looked like the Kool-Aid version Poussey crafts in the show.  The all of a sudden all that thinking lead to a whole lot of drinking, and I ended up with a healthy fermented mixer mixed into my alcohol.  That's right, folks; Gin & Koombucha.  It is basically what would happen if Hooch involved a trip to a fancy liquor store and your local Whole Foods.  Not exactly something you get in prison, but also not involving moldy bread.    

The "If Piper Made Hooch" Hooch
Cubed Ice - use a funky ice cube tray (guns or perhaps some boobs, since that is fitting)
Gin (I used G'Vin Gin)
Ginger Kombucha (I used G.T.'s Trilogy)
Simple Syrup to taste
Club Soda (go for lower sodium, always)
Lemon Slice

Fill high ball glass with ice.  Pour in 1 part gin and 1 part kombucha (whatever ratio you like and based on the size of your glass).  Be sure to not fill the last 1/4 of the glass, so you can add the last of the ingredients.  Now, add a dash of simple syrup to taste (the less you pour the more tart your drink).  Stir well.  Finish by adding a splash of club soda.  Garnish with a slice of lemon (or perhaps an orange if you want to keep with a theme).

Now for the fun part....

Take a Drink...
  • Whenever Piper goes to someone for advice
  • Whenever someone gives Piper unsolicited advice
  • If you see eyebrows that drive you bonkers (over or under plucked)
  • If you see teeth that drive you bonkers (meth, anyone?)
  • Whenever someone mentions Rosie
  • Whenever someone goes to Sophia for a makeover (drink again if she sets them straight)
  • There is some sort of beef over whose cooking in the kitchen 
  • Red mentions something about Russia or being Russian
  • Anyone has a visible hickey  
  • Piper yells to, goes after or tries to find Alex
  • Crazy Eyes utters the word "Dandelion" 
  • Bennett's fake leg gets a cameo 
  • Taystee dances (whether to music or not)
  • Someone gets sent to the SHU
  • Someone says "Pornstache" 
  • Piper has a case of #WhiteGirlProblems
  • Whenever someone is hooking up in the church
  • Pennsatucky talks about Jesus
  • Pennsatucky says something that makes you say "was she dropped as a child?"
 Raise your glass to cheers...
  • whenever someone in the show is drinking hooch
Finish your drink...
  • whenever there is a prison fight
  • if there is a sex scene where no one flashes any boob (yeah, right)
Polish off the bottle of gin (with or without the Kombucha)...
  • if you watched season three, in its entirety, in one day 

Many thanks to the fine folks over at G'Vin Gin for sponsoring this post, and providing me with a gin I actually enjoy.  All opinions are my own (we all know I have plenty of those).

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